Abandonment – Relinquishment – Adoption

In 1992 when we adopted our two children at birth, we believed that they were not aware of their change in destiny and that with our devotion and love they would not be affected by the fact that they
were adopted …

How little did we know!

I have had the experience of having an adopted sister and another adopted member in my family and I believed that the problems I saw were due to not being adopted at birth but at a later age, or that the parents were not sufficiently devoted to their children …

If I would have known that babies do experience the shock of being abandoned, that they do miss their birth mother, that they cannot express their anguish and pain with words, but that in their heart the pain is always there, perhaps I would have understood why my daughter cried non-stop for the first few months … why my son would not cry and always made us laugh …

In the last few years I have read many books on adoption, attended training, workshops and had heart to heart talks with adopted people of all ages and backgrounds.

I have also learnt a lot from mothers that had to relinquish their babies at birth and I heard of their never ending bereavement … of how they mentally follow the age of their child and they imagine what their child would look like at each birthday … of their guilt, their anguish, regret and fear of reunion …

If you are reading this and you are thinking about adopting, I would love to be able to share with you the tools that you will need to be a healing parent.

If you are an adoptee and you would like to look at how being adopted has affected your life, I would love to help you to untangle who you are, from whom you learned to be.

If you are an adoptee or a birth mother wanting to be reunited, I would love to help you to take the first steps with the awareness that you both need to have.

If you are considering having a child by surrogacy or by egg or sperm donor, I would like to help you to become aware of the needs that the child will have and to help you find the best for your child.